Shame is a feeling of being inadequate or unworthy of connection, love, and belonging.

We often bury the feelings of shame inside us. One of the characteristics of shame is it makes us want to hide and remain unseen.  Shame can be physically uncomfortable and difficult to speak about openly so often we learn to hold onto it, tucking it away into our deepest parts instead of treating it like an emotion that deserves to be aired out and heard. Its often by sharing our feelings of shame and airing them to people we trust, that we’re finally able to face our shame, be with it and overcome it.

A good friend of mine recently had a business failure and it was a rather public one. He experienced damage to his self-worth that left him feeling wounded and isolated. I learned that he had been avoiding friends and family and until a conversation with me, he hadn’t opened up about his experience or the shame surrounding it. As he confided in me, I could almost see the weight lifting from his shoulders and hear the relief in his voice.

I’ve noticed that the inclination to hide the shame from ourselves and others often produces more shame. It’s only when we take the risk, sharing our hidden uncomfortable feelings of shame, that we might be rewarded with the most precious thing of all: Acceptance.

So the next time you identify feelings of shame tucked away in your body and mind, see if it’s possible to find someone you trust to confide in.

As we begin to bravely share our experience with others, shame can actually be a connector that decreases our isolation. We can discover that we’re not alone, feeling inadequate or broken. As we recognize this together, it allows us to heal and make peace with all our parts.

Profound thoughts from Tamara Levitt. Listen to her lovely meditation on Calm.