Alive. That was my word for 2021… and in it, I’m finding my secret sauce.
I’m committed to being in constant conversation with life. Always questioning, always learning – half curious kid, half audacious explorer, half undaunted life alchemist.
So as we start the new year, I’m asking myself what I learned last year. I’ve tried to crystalize my thoughts into 5️⃣ lessons:
1. Let go
We often give so much power to the hurt of the past that it ends up ruling our present.
The act of letting go is rooted in a profound acceptance of what is. It’s about letting your heart crumble and letting yourself be rearranged by the journey of being alive.
The greatest act of self-love is to let go.
Let your actions be motivated by love.
When love is pure, we’re not driven by agendas or conditions. Love is not loaded with “ifs and buts.” It’s just love.
There’s devotion, effort, and commitment to the people we journey with, not manipulative power struggles or coercive control. Love grants the people you love the freedom to be, to see and be seen, to feel understood and safe.
Love is the nerve to express what needs to be heard and listen with the ear of the heart.
Love assumes good intention, sees beyond what’s visible, and hears more than what’s being said.
Love fills our hearts with hope and gratitude and gives us a chance at rebirth. ✨
3. Stop performing
We hold back so much of ourselves when we script, edit, cut, redraft and perform.
There’s magic in that messy authentic part of us that we often start to accept only as we get much older. I’m all for learning, growing, and getting better. In the past, that meant adapting and assimilating into what or who was around me. Last year I committed to holding nothing back – none of my feelings, none of my attention, none of my questions. It’s been vulnerable, sure. But it’s the only way to return to the miracle of being here completely.
No performances. That’s the promise I’ve made to myself. Perhaps then people around me will mirror what’s in my heart – and there we’ll find magic in what’s real – our pure, beautiful messy souls.
4. Build great relationships
Relationships take heart.
They don’t come readily assembled and perfect out the box.
The hardest moments reveal opportunities to better understand each other and deepen a meaningful connection.
In 2021 I was forced to let go of perfection.
Instead, I’m learning to build on good communication and a profound commitment to caring.
A friend once said she wanted to find a life partner because living alone can make you an awkward person. I laughed, at first… then I thought about it.
Romantic love is an invitation to heal. That can make it really messy but it creates an opportunity for two people to grow in self-awareness, develop emotional maturity and become so much more – individually and together.
Love is the courage to admit that we are wrong and own where we mess up. It’s the courage to hold space for others to be – to wait and watch with all of who we are, allowing our loved ones to be all who they are.
Great relationships take courage to care even when we’re bent… not broken.
Don’t build relationships with broken people. Walk away.
Life happens in the ordinary.
We often find ourselves looking for the extraordinary to make us come alive. But the blessings of the ordinary are that in moments of stillness everything that is life is revealed… the power of presence.
In the gift of the here and now we can see through the troubles, wade through the turbulence and reconnect.
Gratitude gives us grace – when we go below the surface of ordinary things, we can see the miracle of the moment. We get to celebrate the things (and people!) we once only wished we had. We return to the heart of all things – the warmth of a delightful cup of tea on a cold morning, a cold cocktail in the evening, a moment to slow dance and celebrate the one you love, the smile of a stranger, the laughter of friends who sustain you along the way, the hug or tag of your child, the crunchy leaves beneath your feet or the sunshine kissing your face.
2021 was a year of immense growth for me, with profound breakthrough insights on life and love.
In a world that often teaches us the only way to be lovable is to be extraordinary, a return to experiencing the marvels of the ordinary was a gift – an invitation to stay open to the magic of falling in love with life at first sight.
Happy new year, you beautiful soul ❤️ What’s your secret sauce?
Share it with me and let me know what makes you come alive!